McIlvride Sister Feud

Written by Nick Wallingford
24 December 2014 Family stories have it that there a number of long-standing family feuds among various of the McIlvride children, with various family groupings not on speaking terms for extended periods of time. Peter John and Margaret Isabella (nee McGregor) McIlvride had six children, five of whom lived to adulthood.

The following two letters were provided by Joyce Montgomery, via Stephen Parker. The copies I have are photocopies, but are nearly clear enough to transcribe it all.

The first letter is from Grace MacKenzie (nee McIlvride), who had married Alexander McGregor Mackenzie and moved to India, to her sister Christina ('Tina') Prouse nee McIlvride. Tina was Grace's older sister, about 3 years older.

Names mentioned include Grace and Tina, Sandy (Grace's husband), one of their cousins Grant McIlvride (son of George and Janet McIlvride), Tina's daughter Grace and her daughter Christobel, and Tina's husband Richard Prouse. Tina's letter also refers to her mother Isabella as being at the centre of the family in-fighting.

Grace's letter to Tina

	
Days Bay
Wellington
New Zealand

19-6-28

My dear Tina,

I am on a 6 months' holiday to New Zealand and arrived home on the
22nd May (the anniversary of your wedding) and will not be leaving
for India before the 1st week of November.

No doubt you will wonder why I am addressing you after so many
years silence but necessity has no law.

Some few days before our dear Cousin Grantie died he asked Sandy &
I to take care of a large photograph of your dear little Gracie
and her child, which he intended sending to her from Inida but as
he knew he could only live a few days more, would we promise to do
the needful, and when we had the opportunity either send it to
Gracie or take it to New Zealand and give it to her with his love.

I have brought the photograph with me and write to ask of you will
you kindly allow me to call on you and make the same over to little
Chrystobel, seeing dear little Gracie has left us for ever,
if it is not convenient for you to have me call on you will you
very kindly permit Chrystobel to come to the Levin Railway Station
and take delivery of the photograph as I intend visiting a friend
in Wanganui whose brother was married from our house in Aywer two
years ago - On learning from you I will arrange my plans
accordingly & I do hope you will meet me half ways and thus enable
me to carry out my promise to poor old Grantie.

Hoping this finds you and yours doing well dear Tina -

I remain
Your affect. sister.
Grace MacKenzie

Tina's response, several days later...

	
Weraroa House
June 23rd 1928
Copy of answer

Dear Grace

Evidently necessity knows no law or I would not be *writing to
you* (struck out) answering your letter.

It is a pity you should go to so much trouble over that picture
and I don't see that any of your arrangements need be upset or
interfered with on account of it. If you address it to me at
Levin Railway Station and book it at Wellington Station it will
come through alright - so you won't have any more trouble about
that. If this does not meet with your approval I haven't any
other suggestion. You mention my meeting you halfway. To me
there isn't any halfway. When you were to leave NZ 40 years ago
you certainly did not think me or mine were worth the trouble of
seeing and bidding goodbye to. If my late husband and I had not
gone to a good deal of inconvenience and trouble to come to Wainui
you would have left without seeing any of us. Did you go halfway
then? And I need scarcely remind you of the *reception*
(underscore) we got on arriving there. Now the whole thing is in
your own hands to do as you like about it. It does not make any
difference to me what you do or what you think. It is many years
since I troubled about you or what you did but this I do tell you
I want no more your rows and troublemaking. I am a peaceloving
woman myself and have always lived at peace with my own family and
neighbours. But there are some people who never seem happy if
they are not over the ears in rows. Mother was one of them and
some of her family have kept it up pretty well. Now you know my
mind about it - and you are free to please yourself.

I remain
Your Truly
Christina Prouse.

Copies of the original letters